Friday, 20 March 2015

Wake up !

Good morning :)

I'm having headache since yesterday but it doesn't being relieved by sleep. I want to do my assignment but I do not bring fullscrap paper home. Huuu

Yesterday was a gloomy day for me. Because I was being deceived by my patient. She agreed to receive the treatment a week before, and when I reminded her two days ago she said she will come in, but three hours before treatment time, she informed that she does not interested in coming anymore. I think it's a normal thing for the seniors, but it is something new for me. That feeling like being cheated is seriously not cool. It's normal for us to be rejected when calling the patients. There are some of them already pick up the phone but when they hear our voice, they reject the call. Yea it is their right. We have to respect their right no matter what happens. I sighed to a friend, saying that I already terminated 6 cases including this one. Then she answered "I have 18 patients, terminated 12 cases, ongoing 6 cases." Ohmygoddd. And I realized how small my effort is compared to her. When we are tired from clinic, we sighed. However, when we do not have patients to treat, we also sighed. Humans. Do not know how to be grateful. I have a friend who has three compliant patients for one subject. They are her first three patients. Seriously a little bit jealous in her but then I realized it might be a gift from Allah for her good deeds. I've done a lot of wrongdoings yet I asked for Allah makes things easy for me. Such a loser, Amalia. This might be a punishment, or a test from Him. Allah blessed us with many things. Just believe in Him, He knows what the best for us.

Sometimes, I'm looking for the hikmah. How good it would be if I have being accepted in USM instead of USIM. USM is just 5 minutes away from my house. I can make all my family members becoming my patients like my friends have done here. Ayah can be my extraction and perio patient. I can make a new denture for Umi. Completing Class I and Class II restoration requirement from Hakim and Kakyong. Class III and IV restoration from Kakak. Scaling Abe. Adam for Paeds. How nice it could be! :(

Ok just think it as a practice. My real patients in the future are also strangers, not only family members lol =.= 

K got to go. I have clinic at 9 ! Tata

Wednesday, 18 March 2015

Blues .

I think I have Wednesday blues.
Every week, on every Wednesday there's something feel off.
Nak balik.
I miss my parents.
I want to run far from this place.
But how?
I already took the pledge.
Penat lah selalu kena pakai eyeliner pi kelas sebab mata sembap.
I think I should meet a psychiatrist.
Because that fake smile that I wear everyday is very scary, even to myself.
And wearing that "3rd year dental student" title walaupun tak layak.
Ikhlas. One more thing which is not easy to achieve. More to 'terpaksa' than 'ikhlas'.
And clingy. I think it becomes a habit for me to be very clingy to that person. Annoying kan aku? I'm sorry and I will try my best not to bother you anymore hmm

Sunday, 15 March 2015

.

Hmm.
Hebatnya keluarga bakal kakak ipar dia.
Mesti pilihan family dia untuk dia pun sama.
What I've been thinking all these years?
Such a big dream that I have.
It's okay.
You're okay right dear self?
I'm okay :')